Friday, February 8, 2013

Yes, it really happened this way....

Yesterday Grumpy Dwarf (age 8) asked to go to a friends house to play!!  This is big for us.... like really really big!!  Typically playing legos in his room, or even playing with his sister, trumps the  unknown of someone else's house.   So, 30 minutes into the "play-date" I get a call from the mom...  

"the boys were playing ball, Grumpy Dwarf (she didn't call him that obviously!) got tackled and hit his head.  I'm a nurse, I cleaned him all up, he's fine and they are playing board games, so don't come get him, just wanted you to know."

Me: "I grew up with 4 brothers, you could say I think he broke an arm, and I'd say... "no problem, I'll be right there."  I'm not one to panic about stuff like that.

So we (Shannie and I) show up at the appropriate time to pick up the brother, who promptly launches himself out of the house and into the car without a "bye, thanks, see later ..."  After a good eye roll from me and an apology to the mom, Shannie and I head to the car.

As Shannie is climbing in I hear... "Oh no!!  Connor don't turn your head!"
C:  "I can't if I wanted to sissy, it hurts!!"
S: "well it's hurting my stomach to see it!!"
C: (taunting his sister)  "It's my head sis, just look..."
S: starts dry heaving...

Mom: "Whatever you do do not throw up in this car!!  We are almost home!"

S:  "but I can smell his blood and it makes me sick!"
C:  "You can't smell blood you are not a vampire!"
S:  "I can so smell blood and yours smells like alligators!!"   (apparently alligators are terribly smelly)
       *cough cough heave heave*

Mom: "We are home, everyone out, now!!"  (I am so proud that we made it the 3 blocks home without a vomit issue)

S: *cough cough.... puke.  on the steps... awesome
C:  "sissy did you just puke?"  
S: "yes it's your alligator blood!!"
C:  *cough cough....

Mom: Please don't....

C: Puke.

Mom: Seriously....

so for the rest of the evening this Mommy cleaned up vomit that we should attribute to "alligator blood" issues... and kept the boy out of Shannie's line of sight.  If she saw him, any part of him, she burst into tears and gagged.    My husband and I spent the evening in between hysterical laughter and complete exasperation.   Needless to say... I'm guessing Shannie will not be a nurse/doctor and it will be a VERY long time before Grumpy Dwarf leaves his cave again.


  1. Oh my reminds me of the time my three kids puked outside O' Charley's, ok confession, one puked inside right after I picked him up so it was both on my back and the floor behind me. The other one puked in front of my car facing the customers looking out the window. Mortified.

    I agree with Shannon. You CAN smell blood. Maybe she and I are vampires. We both smell blood. Tell her my husband does believe I can smell blood either. Hmmph.

    1. Oops that is my husband DOESN'T believe I can smell blood either. Catherine M.